WHat song is this from the Internet Explorer 10 commerical
by pensg
Summary: Lee needs to save humanity from the almighty powers.


Lee was looking for a place to wank when he spotted a cool shed. He decided to go in there to rub one out because if he did it in public he would get arrested for child pornography possession again because he was arrested for jerking off at first but then they found child porn in his pocket that he got from his sister in law who was a child porn distributor and she liked to play guitar too she was the bassist and backup singer in a well known local band that were together for 5 years and at first they did covers but then they started writing their own songs and then they got some gigs like for weddings and schools and even got recognized and they were going to get signed until she also got arrested because Lee told on her and she got pissed but she got arrested anyway hehehehe.

So Lee entered the shed and saw Larry kneeling on the floor. Drawn under him in red was a pentagram and surrounding him were lit candles. But these weren't just any candles, they were Yankee brand scented candles. But they weren't all the same scent, so it was an awful, mixed odor clogging up the room, and it gave Lee a headache.

Larry then looked back at Lee and Lee noticed how fucking horrifying the old man looked. Larry had painted his face with white paint and rubbed some reddish-brownish shit all over his cheeks and lips. He had shaved most of his head as a horrible attempt to give himself a mohawk, and he also had rubbed coal underneath his eyes and shaved off his eyebrows. Lee thought he looked like a demented hooker and was terrified by Larry and he was about to leave when he also saw Larry holding something, and realized it was his ding dong, glistening in the candlelight.

"Oh my God," Lee whispered, terrified at the sight of Larry's wrinkled pee pee.

"Wait, Lee, hold on!" Larry cried, getting up. But he didn't tuck his now flacid penis back in so Lee got full sight of his smegma'd dingaling.

"No, I'm not holding on. I. AM. NOT!" Lee said.

"Shut the fuck up man, I gotta tell you the truth," Larry said. He put a hand on Lee's shoulder, and Lee tensed up at Larry's intimate touch, since Larry had been a douche canoe to him so many times before. But he eased up when he looked into Larry's beautiful brown eyes and surprisingly felt comfort while staring at Larry's dick.

"So yeah, as you can see I have this here in this here shed," he choked up, twirling his finger around. "I was calling to my God."

"What God?"

"You see, I received a telepathic message at the night of my concert," Larry replied calmly. "I was a performer for the Buckle Sluts. And one night, after saving a child from a kidnapping, a figure wearing purple sent me a message telepathically, that means using its mind. It said that I was our savior. And that, in order to save humanity from dying out, I needed to do this ritual."

"It?"

"I couldn't tell what gender the voice was. But I knew the message."

Lee noticed there was something in the middle of the pentagram that was covered with a sheet. "What's under the sheet, Larry?"

Larry smirked. "My sacrifice."

Lee walked up to the pentagram, and turned back to Larry.

"Go on, look." Larry motioned at the sheet.

So Lee lifted up the sheet and under it was Clementine with her eyes closed, holding a picture of a naked Steve Buscemi.

"What in God's name.." Lee said.

"He is not our God anymore," Larry replied. "There is only one God, my God, and he is the one."

Larry then started taking off his clothes.

"Whoa man what the fuck you doing," Lee said.

"Lee," Larry began, "in order to initiate the coming, I need a partner."

"WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?"

Larry started rubbing Lee's back and Lee felt really uncomfortable. "We will have to perform intercourse."

"But I'm a virgin?"

"Listen you gigantic buffoon. You know those vases from Ancient Greece? The ones depicting men and young boys in a sexual nature? The ones with the pictures of two men fondling each other? Or an older man holding a young boy's dick? Listen here, little do historians know that the Greeks were the first to bring up Our Lord and Savior by performing ritualistic, sexual acts with same sex partners. The world was structured until Edgar Allan Poe. Then humanity began to crumble.

"This is the only way to save humanity. Do you want to save the human race or not?"

Lee obliged. Larry got on top of Clementine and spread open his legs and applied expired lubricant to his anus. Lee took off his clothes. He then got on top of Larry and they had sex.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Lee cried as he was about to orgasm.

Larry was grunting under him while kneeling over Clementine. Then Lee spurted but Larry started screaming.

"IN ORDER FOR THIS TO WORK I HAVE TO CUM TOO!" Larry shouted. "KEEP ON GOING!"

So Lee tried but he couldn't do it so he inserted some fingers into Larry's anus and thrust and Larry came.

Soon the ground started to shake and a bright light illuminated the room. The candles all burnt out one by one and the star under the skin of Larry's chest began to lift up and burn. Larry didn't feel the pain. Instead, he felt a calming, soothing presence, along with a forboding sense of darkness, but no pain.

Lee then felt another rumble under him, and he moved out of the way when the floorboards starting to crack.

The light from above shone even brighter. Then, descending from the light was Kim Jong-il.

"LOL FAGS" Kim Jong-il laughed before flying back up to the heavens.

Behind him was Dennis Rodman, wearing a graduation cap and gown.

"You brave men have finally opened our tomb, to let our spirits roam and be free," Rodman boomed.

Larry was kneeling before him.

"If only Satan could see me now, you fuckmonglers" Rodman cried, crinkling his fingers before opening his arms widely and letting out a cry. He created a sonic boom, the wind from the impact throwing Larry and Lee backwards and against the walls of the shed, sending Lee into unconsciousness.

Lee awoke hours later, feeling the sensation to his limbs tingling back. He felt someone holding his hand, and looked to see Larry beside him. Surrounding the two men was their clan, smiling, looking calm. These two were the new gods among men.

Lilly had her head on Larry's shoulder, and Larry kissed her.

"Thanks, Dad," Lilly whispered.

"I couldn't have fucked Lee without thinking of you," Larry replied.

Then emerging from the fog was Neil Patrick Harris with a bag of Doritos Locos tacos.

"Food for everyone!" NPH cried as everyone knelt before him to devour the delicious tacos.

"Are we going to survive?" Lee asked Larry.

"Yes, we will survive." Larry said. "All of the zombies are dead. But, we will also have to repopulate the Earth."


End file.
